Ex...communicated?

My ex called me on Saturday. Wait...let me back up.

About a month back, I called her out-of-fucking-nowhere as I'd heard she broke up with the douchebag she was going out with. She was a little shocked to hear from me and broke down in tears at random times during the call. I had every right to attack her and basically say "I toldja so" but I didn't. I kept things very civil and then we said goodbye and that was that.

After my previous blog entry here, I ranted via phone to my friend in Ohio...who I met years and years ago through the ex. That was on Saturday while I was at the mall. Soon after we got done talking, the ex called her and kind of got the scoop on how I was feeling.

So yeah, the ex called me on Saturday. She said it sounded like I could use a friend and I figured she was a bit of a wreck so I figured we could mutually comfort each other. She stopped by to pick me up and we ate dinner while she washed the douchebag off her bed sheets at the laundromat just buildings away from where we were eating. She invited me back to her place to hang out and see her family again but I'd been awake for far too long by that point and I always get really grumpy so I insisted she take me back home. I invited her in for a bit since she hasn't seen much of the changes I've done to the apartment.

She ended up staying for 3 or 4 hours. We talked for a bit, though it was mostly her talking. I got the details of her breakup. Yeesh. I wanted to kick his ass before, 2 years ago. Even moreso now. You don't get engaged to someone and agree to move in with them only to squash both arrangements at the 11th hour. What a dick move. But hey...this dude isn't even 21 yet and had a sheltered life. Not a huge shock that he decided to play the field at the first chance he got.

Anyway, enough about that. It was odd to hear from her out-of-nowhere like that, but it did brighten up my mood. We even spent most of Sunday IMing each other on AIM. So I guess we're friends again?

Excommunicated.

At least that's how I've felt for the past few weeks. I've barely heard a peep from my reach-out-and-touch-you friends. I didn't make any off-color remarks about them or clog their toilets or anything like that, so I don't know what the deal is.

Someone I know from a message board I post on was talking a few days ago about how he's at the point with this girl that he's known for 4 years that he's the one initiating all contact with her.

Once I thought about it, I realized that almost all of my friendships are like that. And these are people I've known for far FAR longer than 4 years. If I had to break it down, I'd say almost all of my friendships with people I know in "real life" are 90/10, and that's being generous. I have ONE friendship that I feel is 50/50 and they don't even live in the same state as me anymore.

It's just about to the point where the only way to see my friends is at the bar. Hey, I like going to the bar, but that's a bit much. I almost equate it to a pimp/whore (WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORES!) relationship, but with less smacking. At least when I'm there. I pay Party A X amount of cash to interact with Party B.

Have we all fallen into a certain rhythm where we know what to expect from one another? Is everyone else just so busy with their daily routines that a simple "hello" is out of the question? What can I do to change things? Can they be changed?

It feels good to get this out, but I still feel terrible.